We Hold These Truths…

Young Teenage Girl Standing And Looking On Empty Picture Frame

Truth: all humans are created equal. We can sometimes distinguish ourselves by our actions in life, but to believe that one person is inherently better than another because of something they were granted unearned at birth–whether it be skin color, religion, sex, or bank balance–is to live in a juvenile world of fairy princesses. Such a world is not fair to our daughters, or our sons.

When I was growing up, sexism was acceptable and assumed. It was displayed out in the open without shame, because obviously women were not equal to men. We weren’t strong enough to be bosses, couldn’t do math, and we made decisions based on emotion rather than fact. Daughters were expected to be mothers, teachers, or nurses.

Young women today tell me that no one is sexist anymore, but it has not been extinguished so thoroughly. It simmers beneath the surface, creeping unnoticed through our subconscious. This election brought it bubbling to the surface.

A woman I know took me to task years ago for saying how ridiculous I thought it was to have a president who couldn’t pronounce the word “nuclear.” She told me that I needed to have more respect for the office that he held, even if I hadn’t voted for him. That woman, this week, said on the internet that Hillary Clinton was a “rat-faced whore.”

How is it possible to contain those two thoughts in the same brain and not notice the imbalance? Deeply held, unconsidered prejudice.

Amy Richards said, “the last time most of us had a powerful woman in our lives, we were children and she was our mother.” We have no picture in our heads of what a powerful woman should look like. We expect the impossible of every woman–she must be pretty, personable, useful, bright, successful–so we apply that in the extreme to a woman who is breaking down walls. Then we stir in a little jealousy because who does she think she is to accomplish so much more than we did? As Ms. Richards added, “we punish her for excellence and success.”

The State Department and the Senate Intelligence Committee made mistakes in Benghazi, and four people died. Investigation into the incident found many at fault; the report mentioned Clinton one time. She did, however, assume responsibility, because she was  Secretary of State.

97 people died in  20 embassy attacks when George Bush was president. Only one was ever investigated at all.

The recent email scandal occurred because Clinton used her private account for official business, rather than a State Department account. This was common practice at the time, and indeed both Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice did the same, as did the head of the CIA. No-one has called Colin Powell a criminal and demanded that he be jailed.

The anger toward this one woman is out of proportion, an extreme overreaction caused by beliefs instilled in our brains when we were still too young to reason.

I understand that people do not want to vote for someone just because she is female. We want our children to grow up in a world free of bigotry, not just reverse its direction. But I hope that they do not refuse to vote for her out of unconscious sexism. We are not obligated to vote for a woman simply because she is a woman; we are obligated to not blindly swallow the lies people spew out of a rancid sea of prejudice, because we have daughters.

To fairly evaluate a female presidential candidate we need to see past the overlay with which prejudice has painted them; we need to allow a strong woman to be a positive thing; and we need to look at actual facts.

Dig in. Think. Then Vote.

DomesticatedMomster
The Blogger's Pit Stop

The Trickle Down Theory of Bigotry

kids with instruments-01Enough.

I  know it’s been an interesting ride. We’ve never seen a political candidate like Donald Trump before. He gives vent to the inner two year old, the child who knows he’s better than anyone else and doesn’t let logic, truth, or empathy get in his way. He wants what he wants, and he will say and do whatever it takes to get it – classic two year old behavior. Watching him is like spending a day at the circus.

The problem is that he is a bully, a liar, and a bigot – traits which spit in the face of American ideals like equality, opportunity, and freedom of speech – and our children are watching. When our children see us supporting him for the highest office in the land, they might reasonably believe that we think bullying, lying and bigotry are acceptable.

They are not.

In a speech on caucus day in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Trump told his audience that he would pay the legal fees of followers who beat up protesters at his rallies.

After two brothers in Boston who beat up a homeless Latino man said that they were inspired by Trump’s anti-immigrant message, Trump suggested that the men were well-intentioned and had simply gotten carried away. A two on one well intentioned beating?

Last November, Trump supporters attacked an African-American protester who was chanting “Black lives matter.” They hit him, knocked him down, and continued to kick him after he was on the ground. Afterwards, Trump suggested that their behavior was justified. “Maybe he should have been roughed up,” he was quoted, “It was absolutely disgusting what he was doing.”

Hmm.

It reminds me of the sixth grade bully, gathering his friends behind him to beat up the unpopular kid, then trying to shift blame to the victim.

The Washington Post wrote that “Trump in this campaign has gone after African Americans, immigrants, Latinos, Asians, women, Muslims and now the disabled.” He physically mimicked Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Serge Kovaleski, who suffers from arthrogryposis, a congenital joint condition that affects the movement in his arms.

Can you imagine sitting in the Principal’s office, hearing that your child had done such a thing?

How are we to explain to our daughters that brains, talent and hard work are more important than breast size when the man we are considering for president says that “it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”

Last, most of us agree that teaching our children not to lie is an important part of parenting. Mr. Trump’s truth rating on the Pulitzer prize winning site Politifact is 2%.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, teens in Merrillville, Ind., at the predominantly white Andrean High School recently chanted “Build a wall” at their counterparts from predominantly Latino Bishop Noll Institute during a basketball game. Similarly, fans of Elkhorn High School in Wisconsin chanted “Donald Trump, build that wall!” at a girls’ soccer game against Beloit Memorial High School, whose team is largely Latina or black.

A survey of 2000 K through 12 teachers done by Teaching Tolerance reported an increased anxiety level and an upswing in bullying, harassment and intimidation among kids inspired by the appalling misbehavior throughout this campaign.

A kindergarten teacher in Tennessee wrote, “a Latino child—told by classmates that he will be deported and trapped behind a wall—asks every day, “Is the wall here yet?””

The “trickle down” theory of bigotry and bullying. If my parents admire this man, and this man says that Mexicans are rapists and women are disgusting animals, then it must be all right for me to think that also.

Most of us do not dream of our children growing up to be bullies and bigots.

Dr Martin Luther King said it better than I ever will:

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

So, enough. Remember the basics: respect for our fellows, equality, honesty, justice…

Your children are watching.

Domesticated Momster

The Egg Came First, Of Course!

Family remodeling house. Home remodel and renovation. Kids painting walls with colorful brush and roller. Children paint wall. Choice of bright color on sample palette for child nursery or kid room.

So, I’ll admit it. I truly do not understand that whole man/woman inequality thing. I don’t get why it exists. It’s like the chicken and the egg to me, which came first? It’s obvious: the egg. Something that was almost a chicken laid an egg that had a new mutation, and voila–a chicken! So simple, just a matter of definition, of where we draw that line.

Why is it not just as obvious to everyone that men and women are equal? Each has 46 chromosomes and the same arrangement of muscles and bones. Both have a brain, a heart, two arms, two legs.

How could a lesser being get together with a greater being and create a child? Part of two equals have to make that whole.

And yet we endlessly insist that they are not equal. We focus on what differences we can find and weigh them on an scale created from self interest, history and desire. Men are bigger, stronger, and have more muscle, so they are better! Women can bear life, so they are better!

We write off young women because they are girls, and sexy, and we judge them on that; we ignore old women because they are old, not sexy, and are thus useless. We walk on, satisfied with our actions because we have put them in their slot; it is settled. Women are less, because sex defines them.  We must allow them to be defined by their sex or they pose a threat to the status quo. She can’t be president, she might push the button when she has PMS!

Whole human beings are reduced to their sexuality because it orders the world and makes it easier to find and understand our place.

In the same way young men are written off when they are not big, athletic; old men are written off when they do not have money, a fancy car. If they do not conform, they must be derided, snickered at, because of society’s obsession with macho manliness and wealth.

These prejudices do none of us any good. If we win and convince ourselves that we are better than one person, the flip side is that we will be judged as less than someone else. Do we really want that?

At some point, if this is ever to improve and we are not to endlessly churn out damaged adults with sad relationships who in turn damage their children, we have to evolve to the point where we know, to the depths of our souls, that all humans are equally valuable. All talents are to be prized. All life is sacred.

We all want the same things in life: to love and be loved, to have a safe haven to go home to, to have work that inspires us. We have so much about us that is the same, yet we constantly focus on our differences.

Where does this need to compare and compete, to constantly evaluate and judge, come from? Is it hard wired into our animal DNA, or is it something our human brains can overcome?

Why do we need to write anyone off or judge ourselves against others? Why do we subject ourselves, let alone total strangers, to valuation by our obsessions and insecurities? One part of a person is not the whole; the one hue we individually consider important cannot stamp a whole human being with a value, like a price tag, ignoring the rest of the color spectrum.

It is time that we embrace the whole of the human spectrum, and take joy in our evolution. Each person–man/woman, tall/short, intelligent/talented/mechanical/weird–has equal value, is deserving of equal respect, and can be loved and appreciated as they are.

Why live a life that has already been lived, outlined by the generations who lived before? Grasp change; reach deep into your own unique soul and create something new. Then allow your neighbor, workmate, and child to do the same.